Sunday, June 28, 2009

Let’s just call this post…..FINALLY


Finally, I have decided to re-visit one of my many loves in life….writing on my blog. I would like to blame my absence on a bad case of writers block, but truthfully it has been a bad case of heart ache, questions, and at last healing (not complete healing but at least the ability to breathe and smile at the same time). Here is the story in its entirety with all of the detail, raw emotion, and honesty that I can muster to put out there for all of the free world to read.

Until today at this very minute, I have been very reluctant to post anything about this past 6 months on my blog. I have struggled with “political correctness”, protecting others that I love, and politeness for long enough. This is my story of how God moved me….literally ;)!

Nazareth is perhaps one of the smallest towns in Texas and a place that I called home for almost two years. I was “bathed in blessings” during my time there. Nazareth is a German Catholic community with a small population of students that transfer into the school due to its phenomenal academic success, especially compared to the schools surrounding it. The students there excel in everything! They have unbelievable work ethic and discipline. Most come from two parent homes where high expectations and respect still rule the home. As a former “city girl” with limited experience around anyone other than conservative Protestants, Naz offered me 22 months of vital life lessons. I was able to open my mind to so many things that God needed to show me about who he is and how he works. I was also blessed with many friendships that nurtured my spirit and encouraged my heart. You can imagine my pain when God planted on my heart the knowledge that we would be leaving. This was not a shout, but a subtle whisper in my quiet time. I didn’t understand at the time, but I began to wait for God to reveal his plan. Only a couple of weeks later did I find out that Childress (my hometown) would be hiring a new athletic director. I was instantly convinced that this must be what God was showing me and never once considered an alternative. I later asked God to forgive me for my abruptness in “planning my own course”. In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

I was raised in Childress and have loved it like a dear friend for as long as I can remember. The day that Rocky got an interview my mind went into excitement overload and we began to pray. We prayed with more conviction about this than perhaps any other life turning point that we had ever prayed for before. We had all of our friends and family on their knees. We asked God to deliver to us only what was in his plan for our lives, but really with no idea that his plan and ours weren’t exactly the same. We begged him to take us home, but continued to ask for his guidance and direction. I never imagined that praying for his “guidance and direction” was actually not the same as my prayer to go home. I began to imagine my kids spending more time with their grandparents, Sunday church on the same pew as my many family members that live in Childress, and most importantly I visualized my kids growing up in this town full of people and memories that I love. The day that Rocky got the call that he did not get the job may have been my lowest moment to memory. Disappointment, anger, and questions flooded my mind. Had God not heard my prayers and seen my heart?

I quickly assured myself that perhaps God needed us to stay where we were. Our lives had been so enriched by our time in Nazareth. But still my heart revealed Gods truth which was that we were needed somewhere else. I waited more impatiently than I should have for what seemed an eternity for all of this pain to make sense.

In early April Rocky received a call asking him to interview for an AD job in Seymour. It was Mothers Day that we moved our things south to make our new home. I still don’t know what God has for us here. Maybe we have a job to do, a lesson to learn, a blessing to give or receive, or maybe we will never in this lifetime know. Whatever it is, I trust that he still reigns on his throne just the same today as he did 6 months ago. I am completely convinced that my prayers were answered exactly as they should have been for all of HIS reasons. I continue to pray for joy in my life and ask that you will pray that for me too. I pray for joy in your life and against Satan’s weapons like discouragement.


Hebrews 11:40 has always been a special scripture to me and it is my encouragement when I don’t understand……
God having provided something better for us that they should not be made perfect apart from us.

5 comments:

Liss and MOMMY said...

Can I copy and paste on my blog? Just need to change a couple of things. Praying for you guys! I have my moments too ok to be honest I have a lot of moments. Thankfully I have a really good husband that keeps me grounded and is helping me out. So glad we took that class...

NB said...

Wow! What a story! I really needed to read this today. Thanks for sharing it.

(Glad you've returned to the blogosphere!)

Leatherman Clan said...

You know we are always here for you, and I know how hard it is to live away from family. I will always be praying for you and your family. If there is ever anything that you need, just know that my ears are always here! love you!!! And may God bless you in many ways that you would have never expected! Our lives have been so blessed since the moment we meant you and Rocky. You two are a great inspiration! Thanks for all that you mean to alot of people!!!

MamaBotos said...

Love you girl and know it was tough. lots of questions wanting answers but no answers were given. I wish you and Rocky the Best! I know all the emotions you were going through as individual & as a family. God bless you girl!

Anonymous said...

How strange that I read this blog today. It really helped my state and mind and lifted me. We just recently moved to Hart from Lubbock. After spending 5 years in the city, we were ready for a change, but my oldest son is still struggling with letting go. Thank you for posting this, even if it was never your intention, you helped give me a little more piece of mind in our decision to leave Lubbock and get back to the more basic meanings of family.